By Nancy Mbaegbu
Naija pastors no dey carry last. Just when you think say dem go dey preach only, one pastor turn Lagos traffic to Nollywood thriller. E shock everybody.
So the gist be say, one content creator wey dey film luxury cars for Lagos jam Pastor Paul Adefarasin’s Range Rover for traffic. As baba spot the guy with camera, he sharply wind down window like say he wan drop offering. Next thing? Pastor allegedly flash something wey resemble firearm.
The content creator freeze like NEPA give him body shock. E shake like person wey just see ghost for night, begin dey apologize like say him life dey hang for thread, “Boss, boss, sorry sir, sorry sir!”
Meanwhile, Pastor zoom off like say dem cast am for Fast and Furious. But wait oo, pastor carry gun? E Still dey show am like say e dey audition for blockbuster movie! Chai, this one pass drama.
The video scatter for social media like wildfire. Some people reason say na security matter, say Lagos traffic na war zone; better make you protect yourself. But others no gree, dey talk say no be so pastor suppose dey behave.
One person even advice Pastor to register for anger management class, because according to am, this na second public display of violence. Another one yan, “If na so em dey do for public, wetin em go dey do for house lowkey?” The gbese plenty o.
But Pastor don finally break silence, him talk say he never even hold gun before, say him no even get license. He claim say the content guy was “aggressively” coming at him for traffic. Na there X lawyers enter courtroom mode. Dem no let the man swallow spit finish, dem begin drag him shoe commot.
One person shout, “Which aggressive? Abi e get another video wey no be the one everybody see?” Another one talk say if no be gun, make dem tell us wetin pastor hold, because na only weapon fit get that kain reaction.
Meanwhile, the content creator don apologize taya, and Naija people even raise ₦350k to support him hustle. Because as e be, Lagos fit traumatize person pass village masquerade.
As for that mystery weapon, whether na real gun or just Holy Ghost approved warning tool, nobody still sabi. But the real question wey still hang be: why pastor wind down? Pastor never still talk till now.
Akwa Ibom: Bassey’s resignation and game of interest?
Na every day new tori dey enter Naija politics. My people, while some politicians dey busy dey try show loyalty and support so dem fit keep their position and dey their governor good book, one man from Akwa Ibom State don choose to stand out. The man shock everybody with him boldness. We’re talking premium level courage here, not that one wey dey expire like campaign promises.
Gist enter town say one commissioner for Akwa Ibom, Eno-obong Bassey, just resign like that o. Why? As Governor Umo Eno move from PDP to APC, he talk say if you no wan follow join APC, you fit resign.
Omo, uncle no even argue, he no call meeting, he no write epistle, he just kuku drop resignation letter clean and clear say, “This one no align with my spirit.”
According to him, the decision was purely based on conviction, say his principles no go let am make that switch.
But the story no end there o. Big names like Emmanuel Enoidem, Ini Ememobong, and 15 House of Assembly members still stand gidigba for PDP. The story wey dey reach us be say most of them na core loyalists of former governor Udom Emmanuel and as baba Udom still dey PDP, dem no see reason to jump ship.
But dem still open mouth talk say dem go support Governor Umo Eno, APC or not, because the man dey work. Say no be about party line, na performance dem dey follow. If you dey deliver, dem go stand behind you simple and straight.
Online, everywhere scatter. People dey hail them say e really take serious liver to waka commot or stand their ground just based on belief. Because let’s be real, not everybody fit try am. Most go just adapt, blend in and keep it moving, and honestly, that one no still bad. Everybody get their own reasons and personal calculations.
Now e be like say some people dey dust their moral compass small small. People dey ask themselves, “Shey I fit ever do this kind thing?” Because whether you agree or not, it takes something extra to walk away when comfort dey call your name.
At the end of the day, politics na game of interest. Whether na principle or loyalty, everybody dey align where e go favour dem. No be by party, na by survival. And as 2027 dey cook for fire, everybody don dey show face and declare loyalty. E clear say 2027 election no go easy at all.
Audacity on promo or long throat?
Every day we wake up in Nigeria, we hear new story wey fit give person high blood pressure. But this one wey land on Saturday? E weak me like phone wey no see charger.
One Instagram user, Felix with handle @bsong_HR took to his page to gist us about one kain experience wey prove say audacity dey on promo and some people don carry am with pride like national ID card.
According to Felix, him dey run talent outsourcing business, so he sent four ladies go final interview with big client. The man dey travel the next day, so na only Saturday dey available. Everybody gree for the arrangement.
But because bros no fit show up early, and as per correct gentleman wey he be, he tell the ladies make dem order breakfast on his bill while dem wait. Na so the devil whisper inside the ear of these girls: “Order like say na your sugar daddy dey pay.”
Instead of toast and coffee or at worst, rice and turkey with one humble bottle water, these babes enter the menu like say dem dey do bridal shower rehearsal.
One order Nkwobi, another order Catfish Pepper Soup. Spaghetti Bolognese dey the middle. Drinks? No be Fanta or malt o, sex on the beach, Chapman! Na job interview o! Not after-party, not yacht cruise.
As if say that one no do, dem pack SEVEN takeaway packs. No be say dem dey relocate to village or go camp o. These three ladies chop food worth ₦146,000 for breakfast. I say make I type am again, One hundred and forty-six thousand naira. For morning. For work interview. For client wey just wan observe and decide who to hire. Omo, who do us this thing?
The Instagram guy say when he see the bill, him brain do gbim! He freeze for 20 seconds. You no go blame am. Because how person go explain Nkwobi and cocktail for 10am? Him con talk say he no even know these girls personally.
Dem just show promise during earlier interview and he gree give dem chance. Now dem don use pepper soup and sex on the beach scatter him reputation like broken window glass for Lekki.
Na who dey go interview dey order two packs of food and cocktail for breakfast? Even if na your man carry you go out, you no suppose misbehave like this! See me see wahala. this kain disgrace don pass local, na global embarrassment.
Abeg make una answer: if na you be this guy, you go still recommend these girls?
From jackpot to jail
Just when we thought we’d seen peak madness, one South African man press enter on premium foolishness. After 23 years of work, baba believed he don hammer national lottery. Instead of confirming like normal human being, excitement carry am enter gutter of disgrace.
Without blinking, this 42-year-old man marched into his boss’s office like new millionaire. First, he unzipped and peed on the floor as welcome package. Then, like person wey demon whisper to, he climbed the table and dropped presidential waste right there on the boss’s desk. No memo. No resignation. Just full blown faeces as farewell.
Next morning, chest high and spirit floating, he walk enter lottery office like Chairman of CBN. Na there dem burst him bubble: “Sir, you no win anything.” Not even one rand. Just one mighty “NO” that reset his brain to factory settings.
Before afternoon reach, police don carry am. Charges? Indecent exposure, vandalism, and environmental terrorism on innocent office chair. The same man wey think say him go buy yacht, now dey ride prison van in slow motion.
Online people no gree rest. One tweet say, “He dropped the mic and something extra.” Another one shout, “Always check alert before you poo your career away!” Internet nearly catch fire. Even the news reporter dey laugh like who see awoof data for midnight.
Abeg my people, confirm your win before you launch madness. Shine your eye, check your alert, ask Google join. Because if excitement hold your steering, na disgrace go accelerate you enter trend.
*Southerner Xtra
Trending with Nancy Mbaegbu
Sunday, June 15, 2025
