By Nancy Mbaegbu
Wetin dey kill person no dey come with warning bell. Sometimes, e dey wear wedding ring and dey answer “Baby, I love you.” That’s exactly how one pregnant Nigerian woman, full of love entered Malaysia thinking she was going for eye treatment but landed in prison for TWELVE. GOOD. YEARS.
This babe dey Nigeria, minding her swollen eye and morning sickness. Her so called darling husband, sweet-talking devil in human form tell her, “Come to Malaysia, I go take care of you.” She say she weak. Him say no worry. She say she dey vomit, him say “Na why you need me now.” She no know say na setup dey wait her like trap wey dem hide inside rice bag.
The moment wey change her life happened when Bros say, “Somebody go drop box. Just help me carry am.” As a good wife, even though she don already pack her own bag, but as an obedient wife, she switched the bags.
My sister, na that box wey be her hand luggage to hellfire! As she reach airport, immigration flagged her for luggage search. Dem open the bag, even tear the box, for hidden compartments and them see drugs. Yes oo. Cocaine. As in white powder full everywhere like snow for Christmas movie. Before she say “Jesus,” she don land for floor, handcuff don hug her wrist.
She dey scream, “It’s not my bag! I didn’t pack it!” But the Malaysian officers no get time for drama. Dem carry her like criminal, beat her like drum, ask her who send am. But decide to protect her husband! Imagine! Pregnant and clueless. Then she enter court, dem dust one colonial 1952 law and slam her with DEATH BY HANGING. You dey hear am?
Inside prison, they beat her. Interrogate her. She even born her pikin for there. They moved her from one nasty prison to another. She see rats wey get boldness, sleep on concrete, and chop food wey even dog go reject. Her husband? Baba don disappear like magician. When dem trace the address wey him give, another man open door. Even that one chop arrest. Confusion plus premium tears.
Worst part? The man wey give her the box come visit her for prison. And guess what? Sis still dey form loyal wife. She no report am. She believe say her husband no fit set her up like that. Na so love turn am to sacrificial lamb. Whether na mumu love be that or jazz, we no know.
Meanwhile, the real demon dey Nigeria, forming innocent, telling her family say she used fake visa, and him no know her again. He no send lawyer, no send money, not even Pampers for the innocent baby.
After 12 YEARS of surviving with pikin inside prison, one NGO finally hear her cry. They help secure her release in 2023. But her body don pack up. She no fit chop normal food. Stomach dey swell after small food. Her health na write-off.
And that husband wey ruin her life? The man don marry fresh babe dey chop life for Nigeria like nothing happen. Man wey suppose dey prison dey press phone.
Now she don break silence on Berekete Radio, crying out for justice. She say make una shine una eye. Because sometimes, the man wey dey tell you “I love you” fit be the devil wey go serve you premium tears for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
Parents Abandon Son at Airport
Omo! Wetin we no go see for this life?! You go born pikin, feed am, raise am to age 10 then abandon am inside airport like hand luggage wey no pass security checkpoint! Welcome to the world of “Parenting: Flight Mode Edition.”
So here’s the premium gist wey just scatter Barcelona airport like say na live drama sponsored by confusion and disgrace happened. One Spanish couple waka come airport with their two kids, ready to fly internationally. Fine. No wahala. But as dem reach check-in, immigration say, “Wait first, this your 10-year-old son ID don expire. No valid passport, no visa. Him no fit fly.”
Normal parents go say, “Ah! Let’s fix this. Maybe reschedule.” But these ones? Dem look themselves, shrugged like people wey forget to off gas, and told airport staff: “Don’t worry, a relative will come and pick him.” Then guess what? THEY BOARDED THE PLANE. Not with shame o, with luggage, toddler, and peace of mind. Na so dem leave their first son behind like abandoned item at lost-and-found.
Even airport staff dey look like say na prank. One flight operations coordinator, madam Lilian, couldn’t hold it in, she go TikTok straight and drop the gist like hot amala. “Completely surreal,” she said. And truly, this one pass season film. TikTok scatter. Comments fly like plane. Everybody dey scream, “Lock them up! This is child endangerment!”
Before karma fit finish warming up, police enter the matter. Dem bounce the parents off the flight, removed their six suitcases; yes, SIX. Imagine the audacity. Dem marched them to the station. Wetin dem wan explain sef? “Sorry officer, the boy had vibes, no visa”!
Meanwhile, their poor son confused, embarrassed, probably hungry was temporarily handed over to Spanish authorities, who thankfully get sense and compassion. Thank God the pikin no end up inside airport broom closet.
Till now, we no sabi if case go land court, but social media jury don already convict them; Bad parenting with premium wickedness and extra carry-on madness.
Because honestly, if flight ticket dey important pass your pikin, abeg make dem revoke your mummy and daddy license. This kind behavior na how Disney villains start career.
Andy Byron’s Coldplay Drama – Part 2
Ladies and gentlemen, this matter don pass kiss o. E don enter lawsuit and heartbreak. Remember Andy Byron, former CEO of Astronomer, wey Coldplay kiss cam catch red-handed with Kristin Cabot, HR madam of the same company? Yes na, that now-viral moment at Coldplay’s Massachusetts concert? Omo, that one kiss don open multiple doors and none of them lead to peace.
Word on the street be say Andy don dey cook serious lawsuit against Coldplay and the concert organizers. According to him, the kiss cam moment was “an invasion of privacy” that led to serious emotional distress. Ah. Public concert, public camera, but oga say dem suppose protect am like egg.
Now he’s allegedly ready to drag the whole squad to court because him man pikin mental health don suffer emotional damage. Him wan make the matter legal.
But just when we thought the kiss cam matter go end with court threat, another wahala land. Andy’s wife, Megan Kerrigan Byron, don file for divorce. And sis no dey play. Reports say she dey demand $200 million as settlement. She talk say the public embarrassment and betrayal too choke, and abeg, she no fit continue. One kiss don wipe out marriage, career and possibly Andy’s bank account.
Now the internet dey on fire, dragging, debating, and dissecting. Some dey ask whether kiss cam for public concert suppose get legal consequence, while others dey sip tea and clap like courtroom audience. Meanwhile, Andy, who just recently stepped down as CEO, dey waka from conference room to court chambers, trying to pick up the pieces of wetin Coldplay concert scatter.
As it be so, what was meant to be a romantic, crowd-pleasing kiss don turn Andy Byron into front-page material for all the wrong reasons. From Chief Executive Officer to Chief Entertainment of Online Gist. This saga don turn full-blown season film, and trust us, the end no near at all.
The N3.6 Million Bride
Delta people, how una dey? Because one of una daughters don nearly tear the internet with her premium foolishness. Her name na Mary, 29 years old, and she just proved that common sense is not as common as we thought. Grab popcorn because this gist na 5D madness.
So Mary’s husband and her brother gathered ₦3.6 million to set her up with a tricycle business. Normal thing, abi? Small hustle to support family.
But instead of buying the keke, our dear Mary say, “Business for what?” Babe used the money to throw a full-blown bridal shower, makeup, photo shoot, venue, outfit, hype all to impress people wey no even help her carry one chair. People wey look the flyer and scroll pass like say dem no sabi am.
When her brother asked for either the tricycle or a refund, Mary lock up. Sis no gree explain anything. Instead, she moved straight to chapter two of her spiritual foolishness: she staged her own kidnap.
Yes o! Real-life “Help! They’ve taken me!” kind of drama. She teamed up with her ex-neighbour, a former security guard turned part-time actor in this yeye script and they checked into one hotel like Bonnie and Clyde on budget.
From there, they called her husband and started doing fake trembling voice, demanding ₦10 million ransom. After negotiation, dem settle for ₦3 million, which they sent to one POS woman that joyfully kept ₦2.5M and shared ₦500K among the “kidnappers.” I say make una fear who sabi POS work and crime at the same time.
But you know as karma dey do fast delivery these days. One of the guys chop arrest and sang like church choir. He confessed sharp-sharp: “Na Mary plan everything. Na she bring the job. She say make we act like say she dey miss.” You see your life, Mary?
All because you wan impress Instagram people wey no even add you to close friends. All this embarrassment just to form “soft girl” with other people’s sweat? Instead of tricycle, Mary chose tragedy and now she might end up driving herself to court in handcuffs.
Let’s be honest, if this kain thing no be grounds for immediate divorce, what else remains? From “women in business” to “women in crime” just like that. Make nobody ever pressure me again abeg.
*Southerner Xtra —Trending with Nancy Mbaegbu
Sunday, August 9, 2025
