By Nancy Mbaegbu
So Temi Otedola and Mr Eazi don shock everybody with wedding vibes wey scatter playbook. Not one, not two, but THREE weddings; Monaco, Dubai and Iceland. And guess what? No noise, no paparazzi, no trumpet-blowing MC shouting “Otedola with the money!” Everything soft, coded and classy.
If na me? Abeg Nigeria for no hear word. Third Mainland Bridge for don turn pre-wedding photoshoot backdrop. Even NTA for cover am live. DJ for still dey holler “bring it out!” while the groom dey sweat from pressure.
But rich people dey always twist the script. To them, simplicity na luxury, Just quiet elegance. Meanwhile broke people dey stress with two asoebi, four MCs, canopy, yam porridge caterer, and bridal train wey fit pass NYSC camp parade.
Temi and Eazi? Groomsmen and bridesmaids no even reach 10. And forget all those mint ₦200 notes flying like confetti. No spraying bundles, no DJ screaming “Spray am! Spray am!!” till CBN notice cash shortage.
My cousin wey dey sell wigd sef get more people for her own bridal train. Money really get humble noise.
Now to the main gist wey don tear internet apart; Temi don officially yank off her papa name. No more Otedola on social media. Madam now dey answer Temiloluwa Ajibade.
Trust online in-laws, dem don dey find fault. Some dey shout: “How she go change surname as powerful as Otedola because of marriage? “Shey no be Otedola name make Eazi notice am? So why she go drop am?” As if dem be the one wey dey inside the marriage. Nigerians sha, nothing dey ever satisfy us. People dey drink paracetamol for another person headache like say Temi borrow them receipt for chemist.
Nigerian men don already hijack am like free Wi-Fi. This period, women no go rest. Spaces go full, threads go choke, Bible verses go multiply. You go soon hear “If billionaire daughter fit submit and carry her husband’s name, who you be wey your papa house still dey Okokomaiko?”
Feminists, abeg wear bulletproof. Because Twitter men don sharpen their cutlass. Dem just dey tag people eft, right, center with “submission” as evidence. Meanwhile dem no go mention say Otedola buy two houses in Dubai for engagement and after-party. That part no sweet their ear. Na only “succumb” speech from the wedding dem carry like WAEC expo.
At the end, one family wedding don supply sermon, gender war, motivational quotes, and free headache for Nigerians. But sha, Temi don choose peace, Eazi don cash him love, and Otedola don add extra pepper to the gist. God abeg, na this kind problem wey sweet like ogbono soup we dey pray for.
Neymar: From Saudi millions to billionaire bonus
My gistlovers oo, Imagine chilling jejely, then one random lawyer call land your phone: “Hello sir, a billionaire you never even meet for your life just dash you £846 million in his will.” My people, na so Neymar life sweet overnight. As if the £240 million per year wey Saudi dey spray am no already choke enough, Baba God still add extra bonus.
Meanwhile some of us dey calculate how ₦2000 fuel money go carry us for three days. See life wey no balance. Neymar dey pack billions like groundnut, me dey check if my Keke balance fit buy pure water. Omo, God of Neymar, remember your struggling children o!
The mysterious Brazilian billionaire wey do this kind will no even be Neymar’s uncle, cousin or sugar daddy. Dem say the man just “identify” with Neymar and admire the way him dey close to him papa. So instead of giving church, orphanage or distant relatives as him no get pikin, oga use pen sign Neymar as sole heir. Abeg, who dey teach billionaires this kain freestyle?
Court matter still dey cook sha, dem still dey drag am inside Brazilian courtroom. Brazilian court gat to approve am before Neymar go even smell the money, plus tax go chop inside like hungry termites.
But still, even if government carry lion share, Neymar go still swim for cash like catfish inside flooded gutter. E be like say na only him bank account dey play Champions League, the rest of us dey hustle local friendly match.
And the funniest part? This na real deal o. No be your regular “Nigerian prince” email scam. This one na clean desl with lawyer stamp and judge signature. So while some of us dey manifest airtime alert, Neymar dey manifest extra £846 million. Na this kain testimony dey scatter prayer altar.
Omo, this life no get manual. Some dey inherit debt, some dey inherit land dispute, Neymar dey inherit billions from stranger. If na dream, abeg make we no wake up. God of Neymar, run am for us too. Give us ouble portion sef.
Akingboye mystery and balcony betrayal
Everyday for Nigeria, balcony dey see shege. But this one wey happen for VGC, balcony see gbege wey pass harmattan wind. Gist be say na one former Ondo governorship candidate, Otunba Bamidele Akingboye, wey allegedly meet him own obituary live and direct. Lagos no dey ever disappoint when it comes to premium gbas gbos gist.
Dem say the man na correct philanthropist, man of vision, father of many blessings. But na so obituary gather pepper when gist leak say one of him wives allegedly use small push turn oga’s life upside down. From upstairs to downstairs in one quick second, physics practical wey nobody register for happen.
And no be just rumor wey dey fly anyhow, pictures don waka reach online. Bruises full the man body, deep cuts for head and neck. Abeg, na which kind “peaceful exit” dey carry this kain evidence?
Police don open mouth say investigation dey ongoing, but Nigerians don already raise eyebrow. We sabi their “ongoing” dey last like uncompleted flyover.
Activists sef no gree at all. Dem dey warn say if anybody try sweep this one under carpet, wahala go gas. But truth be say, which carpet remain for Nigeria? Every scandal don already tear am finish, na bare floor remain.
Meanwhile street gist and online FBI don carry suspicion reach the second wife. You sabi as e dey be. First wife dey always gentle like warm pap, second wife dey enter house with pepper body and small agbako spirit. But na only police go fit confirm who really push who.
At the end, two destinies don scatter; man don die, woman fit land jail. All because quarrel enter wrong lane. Marriage supposed to be safe zone, not balcony olympics. If love tire you, abeg pack your box and go. No turn your partner to obituary headline.
Visa before vows
My people, na everyday this life dey manufacture new heartbreak stories wey fit win award for Nollywood. One woman don carry the whole heartbreak industry franchise open new branch.
Just imagine, you dey live peacefully with your wife and kids, thinking say una dey build future together, only to wake up and discover say madam don secure japa express package for herself and the children behind your back. E shock you abi? Na so e shock the husband too.
According to one lawyer wey drop the gist, this woman sharply apply for US visa for herself and the two kids. Her husband no even smell the matter until two days before departure. Two days! Na there him come realize say his “family planning” no dey inside this relocation plan at all. Madam don plan am like undercover operation, coded, silent, and deadly.
When bros gather courage confront her, instead of shouting or holding her leg, him just gave blessing like one kind saint. The man tell am: “Go with God.” But guess what? Immediately she land Yankee, madam block am from phone, WhatsApp. Even pigeon message no fit reach her again. Just like that. Family don turn to solo project.
The video wey carry the matter even add overlay: “Our generation” with one sad emoji. Omo, the thing pain online family members reach bone marrow. Some say the woman wicked pass snake, others say make we no judge am because maybe she dey fear future or she wan secure better life for her kids. But the blocking part? That one na highway betrayal.
See ehn, marriage don turn to personal project where one partner dey hide answer sheet? Na why single people dey shout “God abeg, let’s not marry enemy of progress by mistake.” Because imagine waking up to find your wife don demote you to single fatherhood without prior notice. Omo, heartbreak sef get levels. This one na PhD in heartbreak management.
At the end, social media don divide like JAMB cutoff mark, some dey pity the man, others dey clap for the woman. But make I ask, if na man run this kind stunt, won’t we hear 7-hour lecture on wickedness? My people, table don turn, and the gist sweet die.
*Southerner Xtra
Trending with Nancy Mbaegbu
Sunday, September 14, 2025
