By Nancy Mbaegbu
E be like no be only Naija get political wahala ooo. Our neighbour, Cameroon just drop their own blockbuster, and this one sweet pass campaign rally jollof rice.
The sitting president’s daughter go TikTok, hold microphone, talk say make nobody vote her papa again. Omo, na real family breakfast delivered in Swiss packaging.
Brenda Biya, the 27-year-old daughter of President Paul Biya, vex enter social media with full chest from Switzerland where she dey chill. With serious face, she yarn say her family don mistreat her, even talk say people dey plot against her life.
Brenda no even sugarcoat am. She talk say she go cut all ties with her parents and she no dey vote for Biya next year. She add, “I hope there will be another president.” Omo, see as one family wahala don turn national campaign slogan.
Mind you, Paul Biya don sit for presidential chair since many of us dey still wear pampers, so for his own pikin coming out to scatter his campaign agenda, na like grenade drop for inside living room. You fit imagine as opposition camp dey dance azonto on top the matter. Meanwhile, government mouthpiece just dey mute like mic wey dem off.
But internet no keep quiet. Some dey hail Brenda as the only one with real courage, others dey fear say she fit land for wahala because “family matter no dey get referee.” A few even leave the politics drag her nose ring join the debate, because online people no dey ever miss chance to add insult on top gist.
But this no be Brenda’s first wahala with social media. Last year she scatter her country timeline after revealing her sexuality for a country wey no dey gree hear that kind gist. She confess say na women she prefer to men for inside room. From “best daddy in the world” back in 2018 to “I no fit vote my dad” in 2025. Omo, the remix loud.
Brenda don show say African politics don pass manifesto and campaign posters. These days na DNA, cathedral oath, family feud, and presidential daughter rebellion dey enter the matter. Na who sabi scatter table go trend pass.
Pornstar and confession that shook internet
Nigeria no go ever carry last when it comes to jaw-dropping confessions. Just when we think we’ve heard it all, Mareme Edet, one of our homegrown adult film actresses, don drop bombshell for Clarity Zone Podcast wey nearly scatter microphone.
The babe open mouth talk say, despite all her “body count Olympics,” she never get one single love relationship. Hmmm!!!
According to her gist, na somebody close to am challenge her to enter the industry, and she kuku dive in with full chest. By 2013/2014, madam say she don already clock 100 men.
She even write list for one Daniel Akpata, like say na exam attendance sheet. From there, she say porn make sense to her because if one actor spirit no dey match her own, she fit quickly swap am out like SIM card.
But as she dey expect to cash out and bail, she say na so another wahala meet her. Instead of money flowing like River Niger, Mareme say her pocket dey lick like Mama Iyabo wey no fit hold piss. She blame spiritual wahala from her family, wey she claim dey steal her earnings as punishment for her adult career. But according to her, dem don forgive am, na why she fit even come podcast talk am.
When dem ask how she dey survive on top lifestyle maintenance, Mareme no even sugarcoat, she talk say: “Me and my sponsor.” Full stop. No hiding, no shame, just straight to the point. In short, financial stability na outsourced service.
And the most shocking part? With all the countless men wey pass through her bedframe, Mareme boldly confess say she has never been in any romantic relationship before. Her words; she just needs someone who can “service” her anytime she wants till forever. Emotional connection? Zero. Pure vibes and physical transaction.
Na wa. 100 men down, zero boyfriend and somehow, she still dey wait for Mr. Right like say na Uber driver wey miss address. At this point, people say aunty no need Mr. Right again; she just need person wey fit collect baton so the marathon go continue.
And to crown it all, aunty Mareme say she no get single regret and if life give am second chance, she go still pick the same life. Omo, na confidence wey pass Wi-Fi coverage be this o.
Nigerians don scatter table online. Some dey clap for her honesty, others dey hold their chest like say high BP don catch them. Las las, this Mareme gist no be ordinary, e be like generator noise wey no gree off.
Another man bites dust in Abuja hotel
Omo, this gist hot like fresh akara wey just commot from oil. Abuja don wear black again as news break say Yunusa Ahmadu Yusuf, aka Buhun Barkonun, don kpai mysteriously for hotel inside Karu-Jikwoyi axis. And no be anyhow person o, na Senior Special Assistant to AMAC Chairman. Position wey still dey inside enjoyment lane.
Dem talk say oga check in with one madam Ruth on Tuesday, but instead of food, baba load him system with alcohol like say him dey rehearse for World Drinking Championship.
As if that one no reach, next morning Ruth see say oga dey weak, rush buy am energy drink to ginger am. Na so the energy drink turn RIP drink. Before anybody fit say “ambulance,” baba don collapse. Dem carry am go hospital, but doctors just shake head, case closed.
Now police don enter mode wey Nigerians sabi: “we have launched investigation.” You sef know how that line dey end. The question everybody dey ask; na alcohol, na energy drink, or na hotel romance kpai the man?
But make we no forget, this same Buhun Barkonun na the man wey loud pass during #EndSARS. While youths dey risk life for road, baba dey write letter beg IGP say make protest end because e dey disturb Abuja hustle. Fast forward 2025, na the same Abuja enjoyment lifestyle carry am go early grave. Life get strong sense of humor sha.
As e be now, Ruth name dey trend pass her shadow. Some people dey talk say na innocent move she make, others dey whisper say na “drink of destiny.” Whichever way, Buhun don leave this world with drama wey even hotel staff no go forget.
Abuja big men dey always get PhD for hotel wahala. Today na “short rest,” tomorrow na “business meeting,” before you blink eye, headline don read “collapse,” “coma,” or “confusion.” E be like say hotel rooms for FCT don turn final bus stop for plenty political heavyweights.
Buhun own just join the long queue of men wey enter lodge with fine babe but no return alive. Abuja hotels dey see things pass EFCC, but who go write their memoirs? We still dey wait for police update.
Woman turns bum pad into drug warehouse
Okay, my gistlovers, gather round because this one na comedy of the century wey play out for Lagos airport.
Madam Okolonkwo Ebere Theresa, a.k.a “Backside Logistics Manager,” decide say her yansh go double as warehouse.
She waka into Murtala Muhammed International Airport with confidence wey pass first-class passenger, but she no know say her destiny don already book appointment with NDLEA.
According to oga Femi Babafemi for NDLEA, as she dey bounce enter airport with confidence, she no even sabi say her village people don book VIP ticket for her that day.
Na so Aviation Security and NDLEA operatives wey just dey do routine “shine your eye” duty stop aunty for screening point. Dem say, “Madam, shift body small make we check you.” Next thing, two parcels of white wahala jump out from her bum pad like faulty ATM wey vomit excess cash.
Test don confirm say na that dangerous crystal wey dey turn people to ghost of themselves. Weight? 1.40 kilograms. Madam carry am steady like she dey go deliver wedding souvenir.
When dem corner am, aunty first package story say she dey sell okrika and run POS for Enugu. But abeg, which POS dey require backside padding with crystal consignment? After small cross-examination, she confess say na one criminal cartel recruit her enter this “wrong investment plan.”
Abeg who in their right mind go convert yansh to warehouse dey think say she go pass checkpoint like harmattan breeze? She no even know say NDLEA don upgrade their eyes to 5G CCTV. Na every corner dem dey see, even your guardian angel go shock.
The creativity sef na premium comedy. Madam wear bum pad wey suppose give shape, but instead of slay, the pad come carry contraband like delivery van. From “comfort cushion,” the thing don turn evidence pouch.
Omo, Twitter people no pity her. Some dey laugh say her “back-end business” don crash, others dey para say Nigerians too dey risk their life for illegal runs. But sha, from that her bum pad to NDLEA cell, the journey no reach one hour.
Now na courtroom drama remain, and trust Nigerians, dem go follow every update like fly. As for madam, her “business trip” don officially upgrade to government-sponsored prison.
Southerner Xtra
Trending with Nancy Mbaegbu
Sunday, September 28, 2025
