By Oreva Godwin
The question today is simple, yet it stirs strong emotions: is one sex position boring?
At first glance, it sounds like an easy question, but when you look closer, you realize it is not. It’s complicated, and I must say this clearly, the answer is both yes and no.
We often blame a boring sex life on sex positions. When intimacy starts feeling repetitive or dull, the first thing many people complain about is, “We always do it the same way.” But the truth is, as long as both partners are comfortable with a particular sex position and are able to help each other reach climax, then that position is not boring at all.
The ultimate goal of sex is not performance, competition, or experimentation for its sake. The goal of sex is satisfaction, connection, and mutual pleasure. You do not have to try every sex position in the world for sex to be enjoyable or fulfilling. Sometimes, depth beats variety. Sometimes, understanding beats novelty.
One common mistake people make is assuming that variety automatically equals pleasure. That assumption has broken many homes and created unnecessary pressure in relationships. That is not always true. Sometimes, mastery, comfort, emotional safety, trust, and familiarity matter more than experimentation. Sex becomes better when partners know each other’s bodies, moods, reactions, and limits.
To me, the missionary sex position is the most underrated sex position ever. It is a deeply emotional and mind-connecting position, and also one of the most passionate. Looking into each other’s eyes, watching facial expressions change with pleasure, kissing deeply, sucking her nipples, the nape of her neck, teasing her ears, whispering naughty and promising words into her ear, while your woman moves her waist in sync with your rhythm, can be incredibly intense.
Missionary style is a mind-blowing sex position when done with intention. You truly need to love or deeply care for someone to enjoy it fully. It is not just about bodies touching; it is about souls meeting, about vulnerability, closeness, and emotional presence.
Why do most people, especially women, prefer a particular sex position? Sexual preference is not random. It is shaped by comfort, past experiences, emotional safety, physical structure, pain tolerance, confidence, and even fear.
For some people, the doggy position is their light and delight. Sex feels incomplete without it. They don’t mind having sex only in that position because it brings out their wild side and helps them reach climax easily. For them, that position unlocks pleasure quickly and intensely.
However, this same position scares some women. Many men become aggressive or overly rough during doggy the style, which makes some women uncomfortable, tense, or fearful. That fear is often unspoken, yet very real. That is why some ladies completely avoid the position, even if they might enjoy it under different circumstances with a gentler, more attentive partner.
The cowgirl position is another position many people enjoy. However, some women run from it, not because they are lazy, but because it triggers their fetish or dominant side. Many women become bold, expressive, rough, or fully in control in this position. They may slap, spank, or take charge in ways that can intimidate or kill the sex vibe of a man who is not comfortable with that level of dominance. Some men may even misinterpret confidence and passion as violence or aggression.
To avoid awkwardness, judgment, or misunderstanding, many women simply avoid the cowgirl position altogether. But what is sex if you are not free to be yourself? What is intimacy if you must constantly suppress your natural reactions? This is why it is important to know and respect your sexual specification. Focus on what excites you, what you enjoy, what makes you feel safe, and what you can freely express without fear.
I’ve repeatedly received emails from a man constantly complaining about his “boring” wife because she prefers only one sex position. She loves the cowgirl position, hates missionary style, and complains of pain whenever they try doggy style. This frustrates and angers him, and in his mind, the conclusion is simple: she is boring.
But intimacy is rarely that simple. Let’s attempt answering the burning issue of whether sex is boring from different angles, because, as we all know, sex is influenced by many factors beyond desire.
If your wife gave birth through C-section, there are certain sex positions she may not be comfortable with, especially doggy position, until she heals completely. Doggy position puts pressure on the core and pelvic area, which can cause discomfort or sharp pain around her scar.
In such a case, patience is required. Healing takes time. Pain during sex is not something to argue about, dismiss, or weaponize; it is something to understand and work through together.
The size of a man’s manhood can also be a limitation when it comes to sex positions. Many men with large manhood fail to realize that putting everything inside a woman is not always pleasurable. Sometimes it causes pain rather than pleasure, even when love and desire are present.
It is possible that she prefers riding you so she can control the depth and angle, ensuring that her G-spot is stimulated without discomfort. This is where communication becomes extremely important. Ask her how she feels. Ask if she is in pain. Learn to make love, not just to penetrate.
Do not get angry when she shows discomfort. Stop, listen, adjust, and ask questions. There is no good sex master without a listening ear. Communication is key to good sex.
Cowgirl position is ideal for men with small manhoods. It allows better stimulation and control. It is possible that she chooses this position to protect your ego. Instead of enduring a boring sex life in silence, she hustles for her own pleasure while assuming you are also asatisfied.
Another possibility is that you may be married to a selfish sex partner. Just as some men only care about the sex positions they enjoy, some women abehave the same way, especially dominant women who prioritize their pleasure without considering mutual satisfaction.
So please, communicate with your woman. Only communication can solve the puzzle. The reality, or ugly truth, is that no matter how much we preach about trying different sex positions, some people will never be able to practice all. Some are overweight and find certain positions too awkward. Some are shy. Some are stiff or not flexible enough. Some experience muscle pulls, cramps, or discomfort when they try new positions.
All these factors matter and should be respected. Sex should never feel like punishment, competition or to put pressure on your partner through athletic performance.
Regardless of your limitations, master the art of foreplay. Have a partner who allows you to be naughty, playful, expressive, and emotionally present. If you cannot try different sex positions or locations because your comfort zone is lying down, then do not miss out on mind-blowing foreplay.
Foreplay can happen in the bathroom, kitchen, car, balcony, dining table, or even through words and messages. Desire does not start in the bedroom alone. Do not let your sex life become boring just because you are comfortable with one sex position.
Do not have a boring foreplay lifestyle. Make love with your eyes, your body language, your words, your messages. These things last longer and create deeper, more memorable ecstasy.
We rely too much on penetration and forget that preparation is more important than penetration. Your smile can send stronger signals than penetration ever could. A sultry look can keep your partner restless with desire. A touch can melt a stony heart, harden an organ, and water the sweetest rose.
A tongue can send signals beyond imagination, creating blissful rushes and overwhelming pleasure. Sex toys can do wonders beyond expectation.
Sex has no rigid rules. It lies in comfort, acceptance, communication, patience, and connection.
One sex position is not boring. The real question is, who are you having it with?
*Oreva Godwin, The Southerner
