By Nancy Mbaegbu
Iwuanyanwu’s will or life sentence?
My people, come closer o! One gist dey trend wey hot pass Abuja sun and e concern love, money, widowhood and one heavy will wey carry clause like pepper soup with overdose spice.
The late elder statesman and former Ohanaeze boss, Chief (Engr. Dr.) Emmanuel Iwuanyanwu, may have left this world peacefully, but him will no allow anybody rest, especially him young wife, Frances.
One full year after his burial, family members gather to read the long-awaited will. Normal level na for tears, memories and emotional distribution to flow. But as dem reach one particular clause, everywhere freeze like NEPA say just take light.
Chief Iwuanyanwu boldly write say if Madam Frances, his 37-year-old wife dare remarry, she go lose EVERYTHING. As in, goodbye to “Legacy House,” bye-bye to furniture company shares, and even the property for London. She go lose every single inheritance wey him dash her.
But wait, make we rewind: Chief Iwuanyanwu marry Frances back in 2013 when he was 72 years old and she was just 26. Omo! Na full generation apart. Na the kind love story wey fit confuse both Bible scholars and Nollywood scriptwriters.
The babe leave young fine boys wey still dey wear fitted jeans go follow billionaire elder with wisdom and wealth. Now, after loving him till death, the will talk say she must remain permanently single? Haba!
Online people don scatter! Some dey hail the man like say na billionaire Moses wey wan part Red Sea of entitlement. Others say modern-day spiritual handcuff. Twitter dey cry, “How you go marry young wife and still no gree make she move on after you don waka?” One woman even type, “So the reward for loving an old man is eternal widowhood? Omo, fear men even in death!”
Meanwhile, spiritual uncles dey quote Bible, say widowhood dey sacred. But social media Gen Zs fire back, say na 2025, not 1625. Person no go lose husband and still lose human rights join.
But make we talk true, how you go marry fresh 26-year-old at 72, then ban am from finding new joy after you don waka? Na marriage or hostage situation?
As for Frances? Sis never talk publicly, but sources say tension dey rise like pap inside hot water. People dey whisper say she fit carry the matter go court because which kind conditional love be this? Whether this clause go stand for court or fall like expired akara, only time will tell
Pastor Enenche vs ₦30 million offering
Who would have thought a simple church crusade in Kebbi would turn to Cash vs Christ Chronicles? One moment everybody dey speak in tongues, next moment Governor land with ₦30 million cash like say na offering or investment? Na that moment the whole crusade switch from “Amen!” to “E shock me!”
Governor Nasir Idris of Kebbi State arrive like chairman of the crusade committee of heaven and earth, full of smiles and protocol. But this wasn’t just visit and handshake oh.
Baba come with a “love offering” wey fit wake the dead. ₦30 million cash, just like that. As e drop the announcement, camera flash, ushers begin to sweat, and even keyboardist press suspense key like Nollywood soundtrack. E shock everybody.
But Pastor Enenche? Baba no flinch. Man of God hold mic with holy boldness and calmly said, “Thank you sir, but this kind money no dey enter this altar. Abeg use am bless orphanages and those wey truly need help.”
Choir people nearly swallow mic in shock. Audience freeze like say DSTV subscription just expire mid-match. Person for back whisper, “Pastor reject ₦30 million? Inside this hard economy?” Another aunty clutch her bag tight like say the money go bounce into her account by mistake.
Social media scatter. Twitter people dey scream “Pastor with backbone!” IG no gree rest, quotes dey fly upandan, memes on speed dial, even voice notes from spiritual aunties wey no attend the crusade. One guy talk say, “If na my pastor, we for collect am, cast out the spirit inside, then bless am well!”
But wait, e never finish. Some people wey sabi overthink everything say the only reason Pastor reject the ₦30 million na because dem announce am publicly. As in, if e enter silently, e for blend quietly with Sunday offering. But Enenche no send. Man stand gidigba like mount Zion in front of temptation.
Governor Idris shock small but respect still dey. Baba know say this one pass political show. Dem say he nod head like, “Ah, this one no be regular pastor oh.” And honestly, he no lie. Na man wey no dey fall for currency laying of hands. Respect doubled.
So my people, for this life, not every envelope be blessing. Sometimes, e fit be test, and Pastor Enenche pass am with Holy Ghost flying colours. As for the ₦30 million? E go find new location. But las las, na who reject ₦30 million we suppose dey call Daddy G.O.!
How Nigeria entered China-Africa expo with cashew and garri
Wetin Nigeria no go show us? My people, gather make we unpack this expo disgrace wey don turn international cruise. So, Naija proudly carry leg enter the China-Africa Trade Expo; big stage oh, serious global event, only for us to mount our stand like say na local market day for Ekpoma.
According to TVC gist, while other countries dey display robotics, textile tech, agriculture innovation and industrial magic, Nigeria proudly showcased… wait for it… cashew and garri. As in, two transparent containers, one with brown garri, one with dry cashew nut and that was the full exhibit. Omo, even China people look our stand like, “Is this the before or after exhibition?”
As e be so, our delegation still mount stage dey declare say Nigeria dey ready to become net exporter to China in five years. Talk wey loud like generator but with display wey dry pass harmattan. Person wey pass the booth even ask if na small chops stand or museum of lost potential.
Social media catch fire immediately. One guy post, “We go world expo carry provision list? Who dey manage us like this?” Even Ghana people enter comment section dey drop laughing emojis with no caption, just vibes and disrespect.
Meanwhile, some patriots dey try defend the matter: “Garri is a symbol of resilience.” Bros rest! Even resilience suppose dress well for international outing. How we go dey shout “invest in Africa” with snacks on the table? No pamphlet, no product demo, just cashew, garri and raw confidence?
But make we talk true, the expo na huge opportunity. Over 250 Chinese manufacturers, thousands of investors, all dey ready to partner. We suppose scatter ground with tech startups, agro-processing machines, solid minerals showcase, no be cereal stand wey resemble JSS3 project display.
As we pack our leftover garri go house, one thing clear, Nigeria get potential, but we no dey dress am well. Until we match our mouth with meaning, dem go continue to see us as the guy wey wear suit come fetch water.
Pastor Adefarasin’s gun palaver (Part two)
Just when we thought that the chapter don close, Pastor Paul Adefarasin’s stun gun saga don press ‘next episode.’ After that viral traffic encounter wey scatter social media like prophecy wey land, yakata for okro soup, oga pastor don officially enter police HQ for Lagos, not for altar call, but for question and answer session.
Lagos State Police say the man of God show up for interrogation like peaceful pilgrim. No drama, no anointing oil, just him and him “not-a-firearm” weapon. After proper shakara-free investigation, police confirm say e no be gun wey dey shoot bullet, but na stun gun, the type wey dey give small voltage to body like disobedient demon.
But wait o, no be to just call am ‘stun gun’ mean say everything dey alright. Police talk say this kain gadget no be wetin anybody just dey carry waka like key holder. E fall under restricted items, and unless you be trained security or FBI pastor, e no supposed dey your dashboard like hand sanitizer.
Pastor Adefarasin still hold him stance strong say he no threaten anybody, he no point am at anybody, and the thing no be weapon of violence but safety. Hmm.
The good news be say, after the whole Q&A, Pastor don collect him bail like responsible citizen, and case dey under further investigation. But as e be so, e get as e dey look. Because Lagos people no dey forget viral video quick, and the streets still dey whisper: “Why our daddy in the Lord dey carry stun gun dey waka?” Abi na new deliverance method?
So make una no go far o. If Holy Ghost fire no burn the matter yet, Lagos police update fit still shock us pass the stun gun wey start the whole drama.
*Southerner Xtra
Trending with Nancy Mbaegbu
Sunday, June 29, 2025
