By Oreva Godwin
Africans and over religious people will never fail to amaze me. One day, I believe Satan and his legions will come out openly to defend themselves and clear their names, that they have no hand in our choices.
Whenever we don’t understand something, or when it looks unbelievable, we point fingers at the devil. The devil takes the blame for every wrong choice and strange acts we commit. Yet, even in the Bible, in Genesis 6:5, it says: “The LORD saw how great the wickedness of the human race had become on the earth, and that every inclination of the thoughts of the human heart was only evil all the time.”
Notice, God didn’t blame the devil. He blamed us, because good and evil dwell inside us, and it is our choice, which one to embrace.
For this discussion, I will drop my religious hat and speak as an exposed mind. Because I’m not capable of doing some things doesn’t give me the right to condemn those who can. So, let’s dive in.
It’s the sweetest thing to have a partner who shares your fantasies and fetishes. Sadly, too many African men believe such explorations should only be done with side chics. They forget that marriage is not meant to be boring. They forget their wives have their own suppressed fantasies, hidden under the “wife material” tag.
Some fantasies are shocking, yes. Some fetishes will make you ask, “Will this one ever see someone agree to do this?” But who are we to judge? Some people love watching naked people, even love to see them touch themselves sexually and even have sex. Some love to watch same sex people make love; some people of opposite sex. That’s their fantasy. Sounds demonic?
Years back, when I worked in a hotel, a guest asked the porter for a call girl. An hour later, the girl ran out screaming that the porter introduced her to a ritualist. She claimed he wanted to take her anally, and since that period was full of rumors about ritualists using anal sex as a means to perform their rituals, we all believed her.
I also tagged the man a ritualist. How could such a calm, handsome man be into such darkness? To think that he was a married man. But maturity has taught me better. He wasn’t a ritualist. He was simply a man with a fetish.
Many women discover too late that the fantasies their men once hinted at are not jokes. During courtship, he says he’d love a threesome. You laughed it off; love blocked your ears. Perhaps desperation for marriage made you ignore the hint. Years later, when he brings it up again, you call it demonic.
But was it not the same man, the same fantasy, from the beginning? Hypocrisy in religion amazes me.
Alex was a man who had always been a good guy. Does he cheat? Rarely. He met Maria a baddie. They fell in love and got married. Years in marriage their sexual life became painfully boring. Three kids, no more adventures: he needed spice in the marriage. He was arranging their closet when an old bag fell and a diary fell off.
You see, Maria had an unshared dark sexual secret. He read how she had sex in her office when she was a youth corps member serving, and how she and her co-worker had a threesome with her boss in the office. Sometimes she and her boss attended orgy parties.
Poor Maria. But Alex was having a hardon, oh the irony. That day changed Alex. He finally got the answer to their boring sex life. They needed sexual adventures. No more boring sex. It was time to break out from the good boy era.
The following week, he was in the office and invited his wife over. He sat and fantasized, how he would bend her over and show her who was the boss. Mere thinking about it gave him a hard on, so hard that his manhood was dripping. The moment Maria got in, he told his secretary not to bother them. He locked the door and increased the volume of the TV set. He rushed at Maria and started romancing her.
Maria was in shock. She was uncomfortable. She couldn’t stand it. But Alex won’t accept a no. Maria saw the urge in his eyes and how his body was vibrating. So she obliged. But when she got back home, she was in deep thoughts. This is not my husband of 12 years. She started praying, because she thought a strange woman may have demonised her husband. She prayed, oh yes, she did.
When her husband finally demanded for a threesome she further intensified her prayers. The demand for threesome brought a shaking in their marriage. She rebuked the idea and called it demonic. That’s when Alex asked her, “was it demonic when you did it with your boss?” Maria was left speechless. How can she relive her past? But can she risk losing her marriage?
Felix had a fetish for anal sex. It gave him special delight. The normal way was for him, too formal. Anal sex gave him real pleasure. He met Kume, a well-mannered lady. His eyes lit up and shone brightly.
They were friends with no knowledge of their sexual dispositions. Finally, Kume agreed to date him. They courted briefly, and decided to be intimate. Felix spanked her ass, rubbed his fingers across it before he started to stroke her anal. To Kume, it felt weird at first, but gradually enjoyed the strange sensation. Felix mistook her moaning for approval, rubbed his manhood on her private, lubricating it with her juice.
Before Kume could understand what was going on, he bent her over. She thought he was going for a doggy, but no, she was in for a shocker. He rubbed on her juice with his fingers and lubricated her anal and tried to penetrate. With the quick force came unexpected pain.
She jolted and pushed him off. This wasn’t what she bargained for. She suddenly saw him as someone insane. She had always hated anal sex. She saw the act as demonic. The love she had for Felix died that day. She left and never looked back.
Ima had a foot fetish. She loved licking and sucking on toes. That’s her fetish. She met Ola, everything her spec. He was so clean and had a nice set of toes. She couldn’t wait to have her fetish with him.
They courted briefly. For someone who had a fetish, sex was incomplete without executing her fetish. One day, she decided to be her true self in bed. After they showered, they got in bed. She started kissing him and started licking his ear and then on his nape. She proceeded to his nipples and oh Ola saw heaven more than twice.
She licked on his navel and then gave him a mind-blowing blow job, with her tongue doing wonders. Ola couldn’t contain his excitement. She then proceeded to his anal and licked him while he screamed her name. Then she moved to his foot, and started licking on it. Ola suddenly switched off from the mood. It was weird. It felt just like when his dog jumped on him and licked his foot. It irritated him, and he immediately withdrew his feet from her mouth.
Things got weird pretty fast. He couldn’t shake off the experience. They had a conversation, and she admitted that it was her fetish and sex was incomplete without doing it once in a while. He couldn’t imagine dating a girl that can’t be herself sexually. it seemed unfair. But deep down, he knew he couldn’t ever let her be herself with him in bed. He called off the relationship. He still sees Ima whenever his dog licks on his toes.
Mary had a fetish for BDSM (Bandage, Discipline, Submission, and Sadism). She would make the greatest mistake of her life by dating Emeka, a core Igbo man. One day, Mary attempted her fetish on Emeka, and everything turned upside down.
She told Emeka that he was going to have the best sex of his life. If only they both knew how it’s gonna play. She failed to study who she was about to show her naughty side to. She tied Emeka up. It felt weird, but he told himself to have an open mind.
It was when she brought out her whip that Emeka knew this was an error. She whipped on Emeka and told him to call her his master. Emeka gave her a stern look. She slapped him on the face, and Emeka was suddenly out of character. He pushed her off and commanded her to untie him.
He warned her sternly never to try that rubbish again. “Your master as in how? You are lucky I don’t raise my hands on women, if not you for hear am for my hand today. I for beat that evil spirit commot from your body, ” he said. He stood up and left the bedroom, leaving Mary in shock.
Not everybody should know your fetish. Study your partner before revealing your deepest desires. Some people may be open-minded but still unwilling to indulge. And no matter how strong your urges are, never enforce your fantasies on someone. It must always be consensual.
How people choose to be pleasured should never be branded demonic just because it offends your taste. As our faces differ, so do our desires.
Face your own sexual life and let others face theirs. Calling what you don’t understand “demonic” doesn’t make you holy, it only shows how ignorant you are.
